Panache Offblast

It’s a New Year, which means we are bound to see trends that we absolutely love and absolutely loathe. We all know that New Year’s resolutions are difficult to keep, but I’ve found a load of bad habits in the fashion world that won’t be quite as hard to kick to the curb. While trends do come and go, and what’s in today may be long gone tomorrow, there are definitely some repeat victims from years gone by that I seriously have no interest in ever witnessing again. I hate to be a Debbie Downer when it comes to style but I have to speak up – it’s the New Year and I’m taking a stand.

Make room in your closet for a fresh batch of more wardrobe-friendly pieces, but first, let’s take a look at, cringe, and wave goodbye to 12 exes you won’t be crying over in 2012!

Feather hair extensions

Leggings as pants

This is something that will be on my list for the rest of forever. Leggings and tights are never to be worn as a substitute for pants, ladies! Even if you are a size four or under and have perfect posterior, they never and never will be accepted to be worn alone. I’m honestly so tired of being subjected to seeing women of all ages, shapes, and sizes wearing leggings/tights with nothing but a top that ends above their behind. It’s unflattering, tasteless, makes you seem lazy, and is just all around bad! Enough, please!

Foldable flats

I appreciate the necessity of a comfortable walking shoe, and obviously prefer seeing women who are able to strut the streets in sky-high shoes (instead of carrying them by the end of the night and walking barefoot…), but when it comes to flats and comfort, hear me out for a bit. A flat usually has a sole and at least a little bit of support on the bottom. Flimsy, foldable, slip-ons do not whatsoever. When it comes down to it, they’re not safe, comfortable, or cute if your feet are in need of some relaxation. You’re suppose to make a marriage with your shoes before wearing them, and the idea of being able to fold a shoe doesn’t sound like one to me.

Lita platforms

Hipsters and many fashion bloggers alike love Jeffrey Campbell (I love him, too!) but I don’t understand the severe obsession with the prevalent sky-high platform booties. I won’t lie and say I didn’t want a pair but it was definitely a long time ago before I started seeing knock-offs in stores. Looks like someone got the memo, posted it on Facebook, and then it just went viral. Sorry Lita, you’re way too overrated for me right now and sort of impractical anyway (seeing them in every outfit post a blogger creates… seriously?)

Overly embellished bags

This bag actually has a beautiful color and I love the ease of carrying a cross-body. However… it literally looks like someone took their leftover embellishments, placed it on this great piece of fabric, and made it into a handbag. Studs, fringe, sequins, tassels: pick one, not all, please! 

Hipster headbands

Okay, I wore my headbands like this when I thought I was really cool in tenth grade since every concert I went to had band members and fan-girls wearing them, too (except me and my best friend Rachel wore them a lot better, not gonna lie). That was nothing but a phase, though – I haven’t worn a headband this way in years. If I do, it’s not placed across my forehead like I’m proclaiming myself a hippie. Often paired with those infamous Lita’s and perhaps a sheer skirt, oversized button down and skinny belt, this is a hair accessory I hope to never see worn this way again. They’re not even flattering on everyone so that makes the trend even worse. 

Glasses without prescription

I love you Taylor Swift, but this was too funny to not post. I honestly don’t understand people wearing glasses that have no prescription in them. Are you trying to look smarter because you think you’re not? Do you think it will make you have powers like Superman just because Clark Kent wears them?  Sorry but they won’t. Especially when the glasses of choice are oversized and not even framing the face well, it makes me shake my head at you even more. I wear glasses because I will run into a wall if I don’t have them or my contacts on, not because, for some strange reason, it’s a “fashion statement”.  Sure, some look really cute in glasses and I suppose that doesn’t bother me as much, but if glasses were never your thing… let’s keep it that way, shall we?

Harem pants

I’ve been a lover of harem pants ever since I first knew what they were back when I visited Istanbul early in high-school. I feel that these are made for the small percentage of women who have bodies that manage to look good in these baggy-on-top, tight-at-the-bottom pants. This isn’t to call anyone out or say that a piece of clothing won’t look good on you – that’s not my intention at all! There are just certain garments that were (unfortunately) created to only look good on specific body shapes. Sadly, I’ve seen more women who really shouldn’t be wearing them and it’s made me like the piece less and less… which is a bummer, because I feel that a lot of people can pull the look off impeccably. 

Owls

Okay, there can definitely be a place for cute animals and prints on our clothing (even at this age), but recently, I’m left wondering who was responsible for adorning t-shirts, sweaters, and dresses with owls. I love owls – they’re adorable, wise, and fascinating to look at; but I think we should keep these little creatures of the night a little more noctural and a little less on our pieces of clothing. I’d rather them stick to jewelry if we had to still include them in fashion (I can’t say I don’t like our owl jewelry at Betsey Johnson because I really love it!)

Clogs

I honestly don’t remember when clogs were ever “cool” in the 1990s/early 2000s (probably because they died out before I could notice). Unfortunately, last year, the shoe known as the ‘clog’ has made a comeback in the spring and summer. When you can find a shoe made by the whole spectrum of designers and brands from Chanel to Jimmy Choo, you know someone out there thought they would be a fantastic idea and it went major from there. Clogs only make your feet look bulkier and they take away so much attention from the rest of your – what is probably cute – outfit. 

Too tight, too short

I see this every single time I go out with my friends, especially during any holiday season when girls feel it’s OK to wear dresses that fall right underneath their behind and are so tight to the point where you can pretty much see their veins about to explode. It doesn’t matter if you have the most fit body in the entire universe and you’re so proud of the way you look if you end up looking tasteless – have some class and show some respect towards yourself! There are many ways to still look sexy, wear your body-conscious dresses and show off your figure without worrying about when your dress is going to tear apart, how much you’re exposing when you bend down or simply sit down, and how you are going to get out of your dress. 

Neon animal print

From shoes and bags to sweaters, skirts, and even jeans, I’ve been loving the natural animal print trend. An item with this print easily adds a kick to an otherwise basic outfit. However, when you add another trend into it – neon – we have an entirely different story. Neon, like animal print, is best done simple; adding it to an eccentric print like leopard or cheetah is just too much trend and print at once. I love both, just not together.

I may or may not have offended some, but without intent to harm anyone; so I apologize! Just putting my honest viewpoints out there on trends I really wish to never see again (although I’m sure some will continue to come back for years to come). Did I miss any? Are there any on the list that you’re guilty of still wearing? Let me know!

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